The holidays may sparkle with joy for some, but for others, they bring deep challenges and hidden heartache.
Mindfulness and clear intentions are key for navigating this challenging time. Take a moment to check in with yourself, noticing your thoughts and feelings. Honour those feelings and allow yourself to set your own boundaries around how and when you celebrate. If you are approaching the season with a tender heart, here are some suggestions for coping with kindness and care.
1. Keep it simple
If you are feeling overwhelmed, keep it simple by choosing just the activities and traditions that truly nourish your spirit. Giving ourselves permission to do the minimum is a powerful act of grace and self-compassion. (note: that last sentence is worth reading again!)
2. Know your boundaries
Choose events that feel comfortable for you. If you decide to attend, consider setting up a code word with your partner or a trusted friend to signal when it’s time to leave, along with a pre-planned reason for your exit.
3. Just say no
If you need to opt out of an event, you can be honest or offer an excuse. If sharing the real reason doesn’t feel comfortable, saying you’re feeling under the weather with cold or flu symptoms is a simple and considerate way to skip a gathering without hurting feelings.
4. Anticipate painful questions
Prepare for questions about having a baby or unsolicited advice. A simple response like, “We’ll share news when we have it,”, works well.
5. Practice self-compassion
Give yourself the same kindness and care that you would give a good friend. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid and you are not alone on this journey. Being compassionate with yourself, whatever you may be feeling is crucial to surviving this challenging time.
6. Nurture yourself
Identify what helps you feel centred and enhances your sense of well-being. For example, you might try mindfulness meditation, nature walks, listening to music, practicing yoga, journaling or other calming activities.
7. Have fun
Planning a getaway, indulging in a treat or enjoying something like a new restaurant or a massage can create moments to look forward to.
8. Feel joy
Sadness and joy can coexist. Even in moments of tenderness, letting ourselves be moved by beauty can deeply nurture our well-being. Linger for a moment in the senses, noticing the sounds of birds, watching the way the branches of a tree sway with the breeze, feeling the warmth from a sunbeam through the window. Our senses ground us in the present moment, allowing us to savour the aliveness it offers.
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