This holiday season, we’re all being asked to let go of so much....how we normally gather and celebrate with loved ones, many of our usual traditions, and for those of us with a fertility journey, yet another holiday with not having grown our families in the way our hearts long for.
What if rather than struggling against "letting it go", instead we choose to "let it be".
The acronym RAIN, first coined about 20 years ago by a meditation teacher named Michele McDonald, is an easy-to-remember tool for practicing mindfulness and self-compassion. It has four steps:
Recognize what is going on (what is here now? in the body, mind, heart?)
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is (can I invite a softening around whatever is here...just the invitation to soften is a powerful act of kindness)
Investigate with a gentle, curious attention (opening to whatever is arising with care and bringing a beginner's mind to our experience)
Nurture with loving presence (what's needed here now? What is the kindest way to be with myself in this present moment?)
The ability to meet this moment starts with remembering that a loving space is available to us even in difficult times. Meditation teacher Vinny Ferraro says, “Compassion is simply a kind, friendly presence in the face of what’s difficult.” The power of compassion is that in allowing us to be with both the good and the difficult, we give ourselves the ability to approach life by turning toward it, not away from it. And when we turn toward life, we can be informed by each new moment and, in that way, meet challenges with skill, kindness, and compassion.
We all have within us the natural ability to slow down and navigate the next few weeks with care and kindness.
Be kind.
Be gentle.
...towards others but especially with ourselves.
Guest post by Stephanie Curran, instructor with @mindfulnessforfertility
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